You are my Sunshine

I remember when I was young, my mom would always sing me the song, “You are my sunshine.” She would always sing that before she would tuck me into bed at night or whenever I was upset about something. She would even sing it for no reason at all to get me to laugh and smile just for fun. She always told me that I was her sunshine because “I always made her smile even when the skies were gray.”

I grew up hearing that song almost every night as a kid. I took comfort in knowing that in even in the darkest of skies, my mom was always there for me. I didn’t truly value the words of the song because I always thought it was a silly tribute from my mom. I thought it was just something she sang to get me to fall asleep or make me laugh for a moment in time but I had no idea that she sang that for joy.

She was joyful of having her children with her by her side. She was joyful for my sister and me. I didn’t realize that she sang the song when she was tired from working two jobs or when she was fed up with our behavior. No, she kept on singing that song to us to remind herself to keep smiling and to make us smile, too.

The song eventually became so contagious in our family that I would start singing that to my sister as a baby. I would cradle her in my arms and just sing, “You are my Sunshine” to her whenever I had the chance. I wanted to see her smile and live a happy life. In that moment, I noticed that smiling and sharing your sunshine is a beautiful experience.

It’s beautiful to be able to share someone else’s joy and see their happiness in their eyes. To see their smile shining through their gray skies and spreading positivity for everyone they encounter. It’s magical, intimate, and sincere. It’s everything I wish to sing to everyone else in my lifetime.

I do still sing the song to young children in my care. I sing to them while I watch the children in the nursery or in one of those blue moons where I get to hold a newborn in my arms. Man, that is seriously one of my favorite moments. Sharing a baby’s smile just fills my whole soul with sunshine. Nothing beats a baby’s smile!

Anyway, learn to sing that song for everyone else in your life. Sing it to your parents, children, and even your pet, rabbit. Did I mention I sing this to my rabbit?! Haha, well learn to smile and share with others because joy is a precious commodity in this world. We must invest, harvest, and distribute it to everyone for the sake of humanity. There’s already too much frowning! So let’s spread some smiles because happiness is a beautiful experience.


Ironic Blessings

I tried avoiding church for weeks. I didn’t want to get out of bed and face a crowd of believers and think it was all fake. When in reality, I was the fake one the whole time. I was fake in the sense that I was going through life and avoiding things that were meant to be accountable for. I was accountable for my faith, responsibilities, and the people around me. Somehow, with everything going on in my life, I got swept away with the burdens and didn’t think about the blessings. However, I came to realize that I was far more blessed than I could ever imagine.

I believe when we’re in difficult situations its easy to complain and tell the whole world our struggles. We want to vent and to dump the load on another innocent bystander without warning. Sometimes its okay to have that release of emotions, but other times it can be burdensome for someone else. We as humans need to realize how to effectively release our emotions without it being a heavy load for someone else to carry. And let me just say, that it’s no easy task to fulfill.

I’m guilty in telling people my problems in the wrong places and time periods. I dump off my load of problems in class, work, and church. It’s not always a bad thing to vent, but I need to learn to mind my mouth. My mouth loves running off its troubles in an attempt to release steam but its not effective at all. It’s distracting and just rehashes the same soap opera all over again. I’m currently learning to count my blessings more than my burdens.

I need to learn that its all in the attitude in how you approach problems or difficulties. I need to be positive and not dig myself into another hole that I can’t get out of by myself. I can’t rely on other people to hear me out when I need them to be. I need to be able to vent to myself and keep my heart guarded to some issues. We can’t be codependent and we can’t keep running our mouths to people who have no right in knowing our business. We can’t overshare some things and sometimes we need to become distant in order to protect ourselves.

We all make mistakes and sometimes we realize much later in how we react to certain situations. But I believe as long as we learn from them then we gain a better understanding of who we are and what we can do for other people. There’s a bigger world from our own and there’s bigger things going on than our own issues. Vent but don’t expect the whole world to stop and listen. Learn to speak out when the right people and situation calls for it. It’s all a balancing act.

Finally, even if the burden doesn’t feel like a blessing, something good always comes out of the ashes. I believe in the end that the heart is stronger than the mind to overcome negative actions and thoughts. If we allow our hearts to open up to other people, then the focus of our selfish minds fade away. We rekindle newfound friendships and relationships from the irony of various situations. And that, my friends, is what life is all about. It’s about finding the ironic blessings out of life because nothing turns out the way its expected to be and that is a blessing in itself.

Night Tide

Take me to a place,
where the moon never descends,
into the light of day,
nor the sun never ascends,
its fiery rays upon your canvas face.

Allow me to capture your eyes
in the color of night tide
where the sea collides
to the rocky shores
coursing the waves in force
from the heightened moon above.

Paint me in the shade
of star sapphires
leading into the course
of your own orbit
and finding its source
within your presence.

Take me to this place,
of night tide,
lead me into the ride
of the waves in power
and coming over
the waters with the pull,
of your gravity.

And speak to the forces
of your universe
to be still in night tide
and lavish me in freckles
of star sapphires.

Shadows of a Serenade

I believe these moments engrave
An eternal space in my heart
For the one whose heart I cannot save.
He ventures forward with a façade
To mask his masquerade
Under the silent shadows of a serenade!

I speak no further to dance,
Could not resist the chance,
To kiss him in a moment’s glance
Under the moonlight’s glare!
The winding world began to stare,
My heart could not bear to bear,
Apart from my lover’s snare!

I dare to dance to settle,
My rose’s perilous petal
Falling with each kiss,
As he fails to dismiss,
My love that I could not confess!

He says, “It is just a peck on your lips.”
Nothing more than an eclipse,
Of the hearts’ blinding love!
Emotions spun in motion,
My heart sprung in rotation,
To the motions of words!

As the starlit sky did lit,
He refuses to admit,
His fear to cordially commit
To his lover trapped in his snare.
“All is fair in love and war,” he states
In his dance to relate
That no lover in love
Can capture his love
Under the silent shadows of a serenade!

Guess I’m too “Swifty” for you! (Oh, those Writers)

Oh, look at what you made me do again?! Sitting here making another blog post where I should be sleeping after a long day of work and school. Meh, I guess I’m more like Taylor Swift than I thought or is it just the instant replay of her music pounding inside my head? Either way, not sure if its a blessing or a curse!

Being a writer means that you write about everything. You write songs, poetry, blog posts, and even make little reminders to post in your car window. I have so much wrapped up paper balls than I know what to do with in a given day. Seriously, its like I’m almost a slave to my work but its freaking awesome.

Just like Taylor Swift who writes crazy songs and poems, I realize we’re pretty similar. We write about the crap that happens in our lives. Whether its about those exes, haters, or even just about life in general. We just love to create and be different. We always reinvent ourselves to evolve and grow as people without the strain of another person telling us how to think or act. We are individualists, dramatic, fun, and downright corny. But we’re pretty dangerous, too!

You better be careful with writers. We are people who stem from a talented string of words and have the skills needed to either love or destroy you in their work. We nitpick words ready to use for a witty phrase or comeback, only to have you stunned in your responses. We’re pretty crazy, okay.

If you love a writer, you will find us picking all the best qualities about you and redirecting them into a masterpiece. We’ll embody you for the world to see and publish you in words of concrete stone. Sometimes, its embarrassing, but for the most part, I think its flattering. You have someone who is passionate and wild about you and life in the best way possible. You drive their inspiration and thoughts, you make them grow as people, and you show them a new writing outlet. And we also make awesome lovers and friends!

Oh, Oh, but if you try to hurt a writer, something dangerous happens! We’ll stop writing about how your eyes sparkle underneath the moon, how your smile brings butterflies, or how your sweet words tasted like honey. You will soon see that we will write about the pain that we’re feeling to release stress, then that’s where the fun happens! We get so creative that its downright revengeful! We hide you in our poems, songs, and inner masterpieces to redirect the pain inflicted on us. So basically, your choices became a powerful metaphor to how shitty you treated a writer. Just Brilliant!

Be careful next time you treat writers! We’re just as crazy and some of us worse than Taylor Swift! But I really do admire Taylor for her style, confidence, and grace to be herself. Although her songs may not always be my cup of tea, she sure as hell has talent! I give her props for being herself even if everyone disagrees!

Anyway, I guess I’m just too “swifty” for most people. Oh well, not one of those people really matter to me. They still better be careful, however, a writer isn’t a force to be reckoned with.

Pet rocks are no fools! (Rock lesson recap part one)

Minerals, guys! Minerals are everywhere and anywhere found in the ground and in your food intake. They are also the building blocks of rocks! Can you believe that?! Imagine your pet rock holding all these tiny specks of minerals with the capacity to hold fossils, turn back time, and basically, save our lives. YOUR PET ROCK IS NO FOOL.

Okay here we go, let’s study the interactions of rocks and minerals. Let’s get really intimate here, actually, let’s all BOND about how minerals form into rocks and what they mean in a chemical and geological pinpoint of our world. Psh, let me give you a lesson about your pet rock!

According to Edward Tarbuck and Fedrick Lutgens’ textbook entitled, “Earth: An Introduction to Physical Geology”, minerals come into 5 characteristics. (UNDERSTAND NOTHING I LIST HERE IS MEANT TO PALGERIZE).

1.) MINERALS ARE NATURALLY OCCURING. Yep that’s right, your pet rock came from the natural processes of the earth’s crust forming and conforming into what it looks like today. At some point your pet rock could be part of an element that contributed to creation. What now, critics?! Them synthetic materials found in your food and cancer induced beverages, are NOT MINERALS. MINERALS ARE NATURAL LIKE MY SENSE OF HUMOR.

2.) MINERALS ARE GENERALLY INORGANIC. No, you can’t buy them minerals in the organic section! They are inorganic crystalized creations meant to be stuck in the ground, be organic and like, can be considered a mineral if fossilized in the legendary record of rocks.

3.) MINERALS ARE SOLID SUBSRANCES. Only the best of minerals are SOLID. Things like water is NOT A MINERAL, although, ice is a mineral. How weird is that?! Also, MERCURY IS THE ONLY SUBSTANCE THAT CAN BE CONSIDERED A LIQUID IN THE WORLD OF MINERALS!

4.) MINERALLS ARE CRAZY NIT PICKY ABOUT ORDER. There always has to be a crystalline structure within the atoms or ions of minerals. They have to be in an orderly and repetitive manner. Give me a break, rock!

5.) THEY ALL HAVE SOME KIND OF CHEMISTRY GOING ON. Yeah, that’s right. Those minerals are like Romeo and Juliet but are crazy picky. They only express themselves through their chemical formula and their composition but some minerals vary. So like, results may vary. Meh, anyway just like your dating life, minerals add some variation but within well-defined limits, people!

Dang, that’s crazy isn’t it?! Now, what the heck is a Rock?!
A rock, according to the brilliant authors, is defined as “any solid mass of minerals or mineral-like matter that occurs naturally” in our planet.

But be warned! Your pet rock can have the following traits:
1.) THEY ARE AGGREVATED WITH MINERALS. Those minerals all come together in a way that makes them restrain their individual minerals! Come on, don’t be too hard on your pet rock.
2.) SOME ROCKS ONLY HAVE ONE MINERAL. THEY GET LONLEY TOO. Although minerals can aggravate the heck out of them, it’s important to remember that no rock is alike. ——> LIKE LIMESTONE. SEDIMENTARY ROCK IS AN IMPURE MINERAL CALCITE MASS. IT’S PRETTY CRAZY.

3.) HERE WE GO, DROP THE MIKE: SOME ROCKS ARE MADE OUT OF NONMINERAL MATTER. Like, what?! So rocks are not all made of minerals?! hmmm….Things like obsidon brought from volcanic rocks and coal from “solid organic debris” is not even made straight out of mineral matter. HA!


SOURCE: Tarbuck, Edward J., and Frederick K. Lutgens. “Matter and Minerals.” Earth: an Introduction to Physical Geology, Pearson, 2017, pp. 74–81.

The One Teacher Who Can Change a Life

OC Essay Assignment
I suppose it can be considered a coincidence or a simple drawing of fate that I wounded up living next to my neighbor, Denia. Even as a child, I remember her peering out from her kitchen window to see what kind of crazy adventure I was up to with my pink bike named Misty. She was always there watching me grow, play, and becoming the woman, I am today. She became a mentor, always peering out that window into my life and helping me through my spiritual and personal journey. She became what Erwin Chemerinsky described as the “one teacher [who] can redirect a life” and she became my Earl Bell. Throughout my childhood, she has taught me the importance of giving back to the community, having faith in God, and having passion to live a great life.
As a child, I never truly understood the importance of giving back to the community that I lived in for years. I always thought I was entitled to Misty, my time, and the things that were given to me. I was a child who was selfish and never really thought of anyone but herself. However, that all changed when I met Denia. With her talent in cooking food, she would feed all the people of our church community with homemade meals and devote her time in watching young children in her care. She would encourage me to help her in her time in making meals and watching the children as they play and eat. Her sacrifice in helping others taught me the significance of lending one’s time to helping others. She was selfless, kind, and resilient. She was everything I wanted to be as both a woman and a person. In time, I learned to practice the act of giving back by devoting my time in missionary work in child evangelism organizations and getting involved in food distribution centers to help the feed the homeless. Without her dedication in motivating me to become a better person, I would still be that child who thought only of herself.
Another contribution that Denia made in my life was through her faith in God even through the most difficult of times. As a 15-year-old teenager, I was battling with my confidence and lacked the ability to stand up for myself against the bullies of my high school. In that period of self-loathing, I almost abandoned my faith in who I was and stood for as a Christian. Instead of letting me walk away from my faith, Denia, took me on the side and asked why I was looking depressed. I told her of the problems that was going on with the threats, name-calling, and teasing of some of my classmates. She took the time to listen and confide in my struggles. She prayed with me and stood by me when I did not even believe in myself. She showed me through actions the act of God’s love and what it truly means to be believer. I had to remember that a believer believes that all things work for good for those who love the Lord and that stood by me throughout my transition into an adult.
At the age of 18 years old, I finally became a “legal” adult. I had my first job, was applying to universities, and was graduating high school. I had everything going for me except for one thing, passion. I lacked the passion in doing the things I thought were helping me succeed in life. I thought I had to go to college, get a degree, and pray that everything works out in the end. It was a mundane and lifeless mind warp to think and behave in a mechanical way like hundreds of other students in my high school. I wanted more than the mundane or mechanical ways of life, what I wanted more than anything was passion for living life to the fullest. Denia showed me how to find the passion by first loving and accepting myself. Whenever I got home from work or school, she would wave down from her kitchen window and ask how my day went with a lively voice. In addition to her friendly smile, her son and two godsons would wave down in the next window with joy in their eyes and great big smile. They had passion for living life in the simplest but kindest way possible. I needed their energy and positivity to make it through another day and complete my college applications for review. They are the reason why I wanted a career with children. It was not just my love for children that drove my passion, it was that passion for changing lives and they sure did change mine for the better.
When I look back at my life, I see how Denia changed me in the most vibrant ways possible. She helped shape me into wanting to become a teacher and brought me back to life so to speak. I would not know where I would be without her today, still checking her kitchen window, waiting to ask how my day went or how my family was getting along. I find it crazy that a simple twist of fate can magically send an angel living right next door to me. She redirected me from a dark place to a place filled with passion and energy. An energy I want to give away to the next student I interact with through my career and church activities. This is why I have the passion and this is why I want more out of this life.

Don’t be an Energizer Bunny!

I had an anxiety attack at work the other day. The surging amount of caffeine and sugar pumping through my body didn’t help too much either. It was my own fault, I didn’t get enough sleep and tried to substitute self-care to be the next energizer bunny! I got to learn to slow down and breathe more often.

I’ve had issues in the past where I overworked myself to the point of exhaustion and extreme worry. I’m a perfectionist, I tell you! I want to challenge myself and make sure everything looks amazing. I want that honor roll award, I want that title on my resume, and hell, I even want to become the next selling author. So much ambitions and desires run through my crazy mind that I don’t always know how to slow down or even take my own advice. I mean its great I have all these aspirations and everything, but not to the point where I’m sacrificing my health for everything else.

I do have a lot on my plate. I’m a college student, working a job, trying to train for the 5K (Well, trying anyway), and volunteering my time as a teacher. It’s no wonder I always feel worried and stressed all the time. I need to learn to take it easy. Instead of grabbing that coffee, I need to grab some tea and calm my ass down. Or heck, maybe running more often will let out some steam. So, I’ll go back to that.

I’m working on trying to stop every now and then. It’s funny how our bodies tells us to make sure we’re not overdoing it. It’s great to keep going and have all this energy to do all these great things but everyone needs a break. I need a break and a stress reliever! I listen to crazy songs and write silly children’s stories to remind self to smile every now and then. I try to find the silly things out of life to distract my own anxiety. Dang, anxiety is an ugly thing, I tell you.

Anxiety makes you feel worried all the time. Like, life is too much to handle and you tremble in fear thinking that it won’t end. It’s a liar and a downright thief. It likes to steal your joy and happiness. It’s sick and tiring and I’m done with feeling sick and tired all the time. It’s time to make some serious life changes and that starts with me.

Repeat after me: “Anxiety I’m going to kick your ass. You’re not going to win. I’m hella awesome but even this bunny needs a break. Some things can wait till tomorrow and take it a day at a time. Good things come to those wait. And you know what, I’ll overcome this.”

You guys got this. We all need reminders sometimes and so what if you have a breakdown every once in a while. You’re only human after all! Take it easy, laugh it off, and get back up again. Continue fighting but also sit your ass down every once in awhile, haha! Be silly and quirky! No one has enough time in the world to be worrying over every little thing.

And here’s another pun, TRICKS ONLY FOR KIDS. So grow up and slow down or you will have to take a chill pill, doc! Because in the end, what’s up, doc?

Afraid of No Ghost

So what if you’re afraid of speaking up or that you have those jitters when you wake up from your nightmares? So what if my personality or even my face gives you the spooks? Does it matter to me? Nah, I’m not afraid of any ghost. Spook me all you want but you can’t scare me.

I’m not afraid of the no-text backers, the snobby-nosed freaks, or the two-faced witches. You don’t really frighten me all that much. Actually, you just make me laugh. I like to laugh even when I’m scared so I guess it matches perfectly. I laugh and smile at all the scariest things out there. Even when I’m afraid of pulling that white sheet off my face, I still do it. I might be embarrassed like crazy in doing so, but I keep on doing it. If it makes you laugh or grin in the process, that’s okay. At least I can say that I had the courage to do things that you were too afraid to do and that already makes me better than you.

I’m better not in the high-horsed kind of way, but the I don’t mind being myself kind of way. I’m okay with who I am and what I’m doing even if not everyone agrees with it. For example, I’m writing this blog for no reason at all. Heck, this came out of a spontaneous moment of creativity and poof, here I am! Can you people do the same?

If you aren’t afraid of those ghosts haunting you, then I applaud you. I applaud your courage and determination in doing great things. Nothing in this life should be feared even if the adrenaline is pounding all throughout your body and your palms are beyond sweaty. Just do it! You only have one life to live, so live it productively!

Don’t mind those scary exes, toxic people, or even yourself. Conquer whatever fear that is preventing you from doing amazing things in your life! If someone does “ghost” you, give it a laugh and know they missed out on an incredible bad-ass! (Excuse the language, please) But seriously, they missed out on one hell of a person that would make them laugh and live life to the fullest. You had that courage to go out there and do the impossible. You approached that person, you took up that hobby, and you followed your dreams. So many people go through life like they are ghosts. They haunt other people’s lives expecting some kind of host to bring them back to life. Yet, they just keep on wandering with no sense of direction or purpose. They’re stuck in purgatory and won’t get out until they realize who they are.

Sometimes, we allow ghosts to even haunt us. They can be things, people, or even mistakes. We wallow in these “ghosts” and let them haunt the living day lights out of us. What a shame it is! It’s best to let things go and move on to heaven. Go towards the light, so to speak. We always hear the good old “let it go” slogan everywhere when we have problems but there’s some truth in it. We need to let things go so we can be happy and fearless. If we keep letting these ghosts haunt us, we’ll never move on.

I don’t know about you but I would rather not be a ghost or have ghosts haunt me. I want to laugh to the point I pee my pants and just go with the flow of life. Of course, there needs to be a sense of direction, but I’m saying I’m not going to get distracted by the ghosts of the world. Let them “ghost” me all they want, they don’t really scare me because you and I are hella awesome!

Call me a ‘Dreamer’

I don’t know what to say to my father who crossed the boarder at 15 years old or what to tell myself every time I look in the mirror. Am I too brown to be here?! But, I am half white, aren’t I? Maybe that’s the only grace I have besides being an American. Heck, might as well be called a Dreamer if anything else.

I would rather be called a Dreamer than an American with no dreams. I would rather be that immigrant who came here as a child and was fooled to think they were an American, only to find out that they were illegal. I would rather be fooled into that perception than be sitting here with all my privileges and getting an education that many would kill to have at this moment in time. I would rather give it up than to live a lie thinking these people don’t deserve an education or even a life here. Seriously who thought it was beneficial in any way to hurt thousands of Dreamers by getting rid of a program that was meant to give those who had no choice in the matter, a chance to be an American?! But of course, its all about the money.

We got to stop our spending they say. They’re ruining our jobs, security, and our economy. They are ruining our very existence. Yeah whatever, without them here, who would clean your houses, hotel rooms, and serve you food?! They take the jobs that you don’t want so most of you can run those businesses, get that college degree, and live the life meant for “higher professions.” Stop having that entitled mind and look into the mind of an immigrant, better yet, a mind of an American.

Americans are meant to dream big. We are meant to welcome immigrants in our ideology and give chances to those who never truly had a chance before. However, our actions never match up to what we ‘believe’ in. We blame all our problems on other people and take our business in other worldly affairs, without considering how it affects other people. All of us are too self absorbed to think outside of our purple mountains and shining seas to truly see what’s happening. LOOK at what’s happening. It’s devastating and is hurting those who really are trying to become productive citizens in this country. But no matter what, they will never be American enough.

Just remember the next time you decide to complain about immigrants in this sense. For those of you who know me, I come from a illegal immigrant and an American. Without my father crossing the boarder, I wouldn’t be here. Same to my mother who is an American. Both of them contribute to my existence, just as both contribute to our economy and nation. I’m proud to be an American, but I’m not proud of what its deciding on its own without consideration or a “back-up” plan for those in distress.

Don’t make millions of other Americans look at our skin color in shame. Don’t make it about more money and profits. Make it about people and their contribution to our society. The stigma is real and I feel it every time I look in the mirror. Am I white or brown? If color doesn’t matter then neither should Dreamers who hope for a better future and dream to be Americans. Political or not, this is a people issue.