Homesick at Home

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Most people feel the longing for home and family when they travel to new places, study abroad, or maybe even staying over at a friend’s house. The grief-sickening feeling lingers for days and the unfamiliarity of your surroundings makes things uncomfortable. But is it possible to feel homesick when you’re a young adult living at home with your parents, commuting from school, and sleeping in your own room? I never really felt this sort of longing before.

I have to say that I miss my family more than anything else right now. I miss having family dinners, watching shows, and laughing about our days. I miss their presence and their warm hugs. I miss the affection and the security of coming home with my mom around. To be honest, I just miss the connection I have with the closest people in my life. I don’t like spending my evenings alone, grabbing food for a party of one, or hearing radio silence. I didn’t grow up in peace and quiet.

Strangely, I miss the loud laughs of my parents echoing in the halls. I miss my sisters screaming or fighting over something stupid. I miss feeling like a member of the family instead of a roommate. I want communication and love. I want my family to have stay-at-home meals again and be around. I’m tired of lonely, busy, and tired.

I understand that as adults, we have shit that needs to be done. We have careers, chores, errands, and a life to basically live. We aren’t going to have time to spend on being home anymore. Especially when everyone is trying to sort life on their own and pay the bills. But for once, I would like to not feel so sick of home.

I don’t want to seek elsewhere for communication and affection. Although, I enjoy and love the company of friends and coworkers, I need my family more. I’m tired of being anxious because of a lack of communication or having petty arguments for not washing the dishes within a given timeframe. I want to talk, share feelings, and laugh.

I want moments like today where I got to dance to my mom’s crazy dinosaur songs and giggle with my little sister. I want my family home so I don’t feel so homesick.

Nothing is worse as feeling homesick at home. If I wanted to feel that way constantly, I might as well travel around the world.

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